T'sara Vandercross (tsara) wrote,
T'sara Vandercross
tsara

Mind Drippings Part 10



Wow, it's really been a while since I've just let my brain step to the forefront and just talk. It's not that I haven't had anything to talk about and such. It's just lack of time that I wanted to stop and let everything come out in one big long spew from the mind. So yeah...anyway...heh, I love it when your brain suddenly stops working and you can't remember what it was that you were going to say in the first place. Which leads me to typing what I am typing now...which is basically nothing. And here, I was going to talk about various things...though none of them really spring to mind right now. Perhaps this is why I haven't written in so long. I have all the thoughts in my mind, but when I want to write them down, I draw a blank. It's almost like I have been distracted lately. Though I really cannot figure out from what. Stress? Nah, only real stress I have in my life right now is money issues. Boredom? Can't really think it's that since I have things like Final Fantasy XI to keep me occupied. Maybe it's a kind of lack of a social life? I mean, most of my time is taken up playing FF XI at home. The few times I get out of the house are for ST meetings on Mondays, Game on Saturday nights and D&D on Sundays. Every 2 weeks, we've started going out to the Rickshaw with a bunch of friends...but I don't know if that really counts for me. It's a loud bar with people singing all the time...can't really hold to great of a conversation there. But, it is nice to get together with everyone and see them outside of the usual settings I see most of them. I feel kinda bad because I haven't gone and actually hung out at Dennys in quite some time. It used to be my usual place to sit around and relax. Don't have anything to do. Just chill out. No expectations. And, I get to scare people with what's in my brain. Which actually reminds me of one of the points I was going to talk about...what goes on in my brain. I really sometimes wonder if my thought processes and things that I "see" in my head are what everyone else normally does. I mean, I think of some rather disturbing things...fairly often. But these things don't shock me. I don't act on them....it would be stupid to act on them. But it really makes me wonder, do other people have disturbing things go through their head often? Things like, "If something happened and I needed to escape this building, but everyone was trying to stop me, how would I escape? Who would I have to kill to get away if it was a life or death situation?" that's not uncommon for me...but I know it would never get to that point. There would never be a reason for me to have to do anything like what my brain decides it wants to figure out. Do I do it just because it's a puzzle for me to solve? Do I do it out of some strange dementia? Do others do things like this? So, a piece of mind would be really nice from others. Either something like, "Nope, think you're one of the only ones." or, "Actually, I've done that a lot too." or something. And though now you have an insight as to some of the things that go through my head, I hope everyone understands, I'm still the same me I was before you knew this information. So, don't suddenly think I'm nuts or something. I think the thing that seperates the nut jobs, the killers and the sane people are the ability to NOT act on what is in your head. Anyway....wow....this was a longer Mind Dripping than I thought it would be. I'll be impressed to see the number of people that actually stop and read this whole thing. *chuckle*
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