Schmuck : Yes, is Mr. or Ms. Janus there? I have a free gift that they are entitled to, for them.
ME: No, I'm afriad you have the wrong number.
Schmuck : Ah, I'm sorry, well this phone number is entitled to a free gift, would you like it?
ME : No.
Schmuck : Ummm...why not?
ME : Because you can't make up your mind if it's entitled to the number or to the people? Because you called me while I'm asleep?
Schmuck : Oh, I'm sorry.
ME : Wait, I'm not done. Because my mommie told me not to take to strangers, and I don't know you. because I don't give my address to people that could come and kill me.
Schmuck : Uh...
ME : Because I'm working on a top secret experiment to take over the world and you are interupting my plane? Or, maybe, just maybe, I don't want it.
Schmuck : Oh, ok. Well, have a nice day then.
ME : I will...as soon as my bomb is done being built.
Schmuck : *click*