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Monday, September 30th, 2013
8:31 pm - Long Time...
So it's been forever since I've last posted here. But that's ok. That means most of my friends don't read this any more, or don't have interest in livejournal any more. And really, that makes this a very good place for me to get my words out and in the open, but still not feel like I'm shouting them to everyone.

My wife and I are getting a divorce. (I've been married for 4 years now.) This isn't a "I hate you" or any kind of divorce. In fact, we're both being VERY friendly with the whole thing. My mother calls it the nicest divorce she's heard of. This is more just a case of the love just no longer being there any more.

It isn't like we didn't try. We really did. We went to counseling and everything. Even she said that she doesn't think there is much that could be done at this point. That my wife and I are certainly friends, but there isn't really a marriage there any more.

She wanted to be one person, I wanted to be someone else, these two people were not congruent with each other.

I don't know how to feel about this whole thing. I want her to be happy. I understand and accept that she won't be happy with me. I really do want her to find someone that she CAN be happy with and be the person she wants to be. I know I will be ok, but I still worry for her.

And that's the part that sucks. Sucks horridly. It sucks that I can accept that this is over and that we don't even wear our wedding rings any more. It sucks that the love just stopped one day and that we can both accept that. It sucks that I still give a damn enough though to want her to be happy. It sucks that I know it's for the better but that the thought of going through this still makes me freaking cry. It sucks that I'm crying just while typing this. It sucks that it costs $290 for the court to decide they can say it's over even after the couple has said, 'Yeah, this is over.' It sucks that it was so easy for us to be able to sign the paperwork. It sucks that we're putting on these faces for each other that makes me feel like I'm the only one grieving here.

It feels good to actually get to type this all out though, even though it sucks this is all happening.

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Friday, June 13th, 2008
11:28 pm - Random Update (I know...it's been ages)
Avenue Q.....dear god. I laughed so hard I had tears. So very VERY funny. See it if you can. :)

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Thursday, October 4th, 2007
11:09 am - Day 6 and counting...
Getting ready to end the 5th day of no smoking. One day at a time. I can do this.

(13 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, September 25th, 2007
8:22 am - Bored?
Here's a few links to game sites that I've discovered that I really enjoy.

(Many of these are referal links....it helps me out if you sign up via my link. :) )



Gods of Time

Kongregate has over 1500 games....most of which are a decent amount of fun. :)

Duels is for if you have 5-10 minutes a day just to accept challenges from other people and level up.

Gods of Time is a web based MMO....not a whole lot, but decent enough.

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Wednesday, July 18th, 2007
3:55 am - Cute Sim City Type Game....kinda
In French...heh


Take a look. :)

(4 comments | comment on this)

Monday, June 4th, 2007
11:07 pm - Fast Update
So, as of May 25th I hit my 2 year mark at work. yay!

Longest I've ever kept the same job. :)

(6 comments | comment on this)

Friday, April 27th, 2007
2:59 pm

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Thursday, April 12th, 2007
6:23 pm - My Wii Number
Just in case anyone else has one out there and would like to add me to their list. :)

2740 6085 7882 1747

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Friday, March 30th, 2007
2:57 pm - I hate
Money crap
lawyer crap
insurance crap
teeth crap
other crap

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Thursday, February 15th, 2007
12:38 pm - Sure...why not...

Visitor Map
Create your own visitor map!

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Friday, February 2nd, 2007
5:33 pm - QotD Round 2
Here's more random questions from my QotD I do at work.

Cut for your sanityCollapse )

Don't read the comments if you don't want hints to answers....or the answers themselves! Feel free to try to answer as many as you can on your own.

The internet is perfectly allowed as a research tool for these questions. (Just don't believe everythin gyou read out there....wrong answers exist to quite a few of these questions.)

(8 comments | comment on this)

Monday, January 29th, 2007
3:31 pm - A Poem By Shell Poe Carroll - A Poetry Mash Up
Edited together by me. ;) Given the idea from Elizab. ^_^ (Still a work in progress. I'm sure there is more to come!)

Once Upon A Midnight Dreary, Winkin', Blinkin', and Nod did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
While I nodded, nearly napping, The old moon laughed and sang a song, And the mome raths outgrabe.
Only this, and nothing more.

Ah, distinctly I remember, So all night long their nets they threw the jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Eagerly I wished the morrow, So cried the stars to the fishermen three, "Shun The frumious Bandersnatch!"
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain, 'Twas all so pretty a sail it seemed as if it could not be
So rested he by the Tumtum tree, 'twas a dream they dreamed of sailing that misty sea.
This it is, and nothing more.

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Monday, January 15th, 2007
12:14 pm - Tax Grumbles
It appears that I may owe the government between $80-120 for my taxes this year. This is WITH including Diandra on my taxes and filing as head of household.

Le Sigh.

*EDIT* Ok, I'm dumb and Heather is teh smrt.

She's managed to show me where I screwed up...now I'm looking at close to $1K refund.

(7 comments | comment on this)

Thursday, January 11th, 2007
8:41 am - Strep + Sinus INfection = Teh Suck
Ugh. Someone shoot me. My throat hurts, I have a headache, trouble breathing.....and there's freaking snow everywhere. Double ugh.

(8 comments | comment on this)

Monday, December 18th, 2006
12:09 pm - Stupid Power Outtage
Still out of power at home. It's cold there. Like VERY cold. My cats were both under the blankets with me when I woke up.

Can I have power now too please? My neighboring appartment complex does.....*sigh*

current mood: annoyed

(3 comments | comment on this)

Monday, December 11th, 2006
3:11 pm - Questions of the (Past) Days
So, at work I've been doing a bunch of Questions each day. I figured I'd like to keep track of what these were....so, I'm going to list the ones I can find here.

Cut for your protectionCollapse )

Feel free to reply with any answers you think you might know. ;)

The internet is perfectly allowed as a research tool for these questions.

(13 comments | comment on this)

Saturday, December 2nd, 2006
3:56 pm
watch Tsara fight
what should i read next

(3 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, November 28th, 2006
2:42 pm - An FYI for me to remember...
Alaska Airlines 20 Seattle (SEA)
8:30 am Wed, Nov 29 Chicago-O'Hare (ORD)
2:32 pm Wed, Nov 29 Coach · Boeing 737-400

Alaska Airlines 23 Chicago-O'Hare (ORD)
3:22 pm Sun, Dec 03 Seattle (SEA)
6:12 pm Sun, Dec 03

(11 comments | comment on this)

12:34 pm - Grandpa Update
Grandpa passed away at 11:18 central time this morning.

(19 comments | comment on this)

12:40 am - A quick update
My grandfather isn't doing so well. He's expecting to pass soemtime tonight or tomorrow if things don't get better. So, if you could say a prayer or something for him that all goes well, it'd be apreciated.

On a side note....this is the first time I've had to honestly deal with the possibility of death in my family. It's odd. Not sure where my brain is. Anyway....I guess that is all for now.

(5 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, October 25th, 2006
5:43 pm - Another 'Raven' Poem
One definately worth sharing. This was written last year by a friend of mine. taaminara

Once upon a screenlit morning, as I wandered, drunk and horny
Through many a sick and twisted website of “hot XX galore”—
While I right-clicked, pop-ups clanging, suddenly I stopped, haranguing
The stupid browser for its hanging, hanging as it loaded porn
“’Tis heavy traffic" I muttered, "other perverts who explore—
Only this and nothing more.”

Indistinctly I remember, maybe was it last September
I had first spied this perfect haven of no-charge hardcore?
I’d been at the bars a-hopping, trying for saliva-swapping
With the lovely creatures flopping, sopping sweat on the dance floor
With those hot, seductive creatures populating hip dance floors
Meant for me, alas, no more

Unfulfilled and unrespected, badly frustrated and dejected
Myself (and other losers disinclined to hire a whore)
Disenchantedly returned to our respective homes, apartments,
Duplexes, condominiums, or best friend’s floor
To the lurid, sleazy broadband comfort of unbridled porn
Only this and nothing more.

Lost in reverie I waited for the page to be translated
From its ones and zeros into something visual I could adore.
Though the status bar’s completing seemed instead to be retreating
Distractedly I sat repeating, beating time with heel to floor,
“’Tis only online traffic hogging up their server’s store
Perhaps they’re running NT4”

Alas, it soon became apparent bigger problems were inherent
Since the page remained aberrant, not displaying what was sworn
By the hyperlink I’d trusted to deliver what was lusted
To deliver glorious, sordid velvet volumes of delicious porn.
Clearly now that message could be read which all abhor
Quoth the server, “404”

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Friday, October 13th, 2006
5:35 pm - Damn this is good
Once upon a Wednesday dreary, at work typing weak and weary,
Over many a pile of data-boring tedium of work
While I enter, rat-a-tatting, suddenly there comes a talking,
As of some one almost stalking, stalking with a vapid smirk.
I stare straight ahead, ignore her - stalking with a vapid smirk-
Chatty office mate at work.

She's so very close and chatty and her talking drives me batty,
With each topic she's so catty; gossip 'bout some stupid jerk
Painfully I'll feign attention; - rolling eyes my one dissension
To alleviate the tension - tension fills my head with murk-
And I try to have some patience for her irritating quirk
But I know that will not work.

And suddenly my phone rings: will she stop and do her own things-
Can’t she grant me just one phone call with a friend who’s not berserk?
No she can’t; my conversation involves her participation -
For the entire duration she makes comments just to irk.
I wish her sweet damnation for her comments just to irk,
I hang up, get back to work.

Presently my soul grows stronger; hesitating now no longer,
’Look’, say I, ‘you drive me crazy all day babbling at work,
And you have no sense of my space, always filling it with your face
How I wish I had some spray mace, mace to spray away that smirk.’
But I’m silent and she’s talking; she’s behind me while I work
And that’s always where she’ll lurk.

(2 comments | comment on this)

Saturday, October 7th, 2006
5:56 pm - Only guy here...
Wow. I'm the only person at work now. It's odd sitting here with noone else around. *chuckle*

(1 comment | comment on this)

Thursday, October 5th, 2006
10:58 pm - For others playing XBOX and 360

My gamercard. ^_^

(2 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, October 4th, 2006
4:07 pm - Updated Want List for My Own Use
West Wing - Season 7 Nov. 6th
Quantum Leap - Season 5 Nov. 14th
The 4400 - Season 3 No Release Date Presently
CSI - Season 6 Nov. 17th
Numbers - Season 2 Oct. 10th
Invasion - Out Now
Boston Legal - Season 2 Nov. 21

(9 comments | comment on this)

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