DRESS: Dressing for an interview in today's diverse job market requires some skill. To some, the answer seems obvious: a dark suit, combined with a nice power tie and some wizard armor will impress even the most particular interviewer. Be relaxed and comfortable, and should you get nervous, just picture the other people in the room totally naked, except for tiny little elven chainmail that barely covers their tiny elven genitalia. Then you can always think to yourself, "Why should I fear any of you? You silly little naked elves. Hire me or fear for your lives!"
THE INTERVIEW: Be prepared for any potential employer to test your intelligence level. Should you be presented with some kind of "Riddle of the Sphinx" test, stall for time by saying something to the boss, like, "I shall proceed with thine interview only if thou canst answer me this riddle: What has wings but cannot fly, calls itself 'One Dog,' and wears high heels even though it is not a woman?" (The answer, in case you're wondering, is your Uncle Carl, a retired pilot.) Usually, the boss will work so hard at finding the answer that he or she will forget all about your actual test.
WHAT TO BRING: Always a tough decision. Besides the obvious resume and cover letter, we suggest either a horseman's flail or a nunchaku. Why the horseman's flail over a typical threshing flail? Well, you want to stand out from the rest of the pack, don't you? Besides, the nunchaku -- the Asian descendent of the threshing flail -- will provide a nice conversation piece to get the interview started off on the right foot. Oh, and leave the footman's mace at home. You want to appear eager and cunning, not edgy and maniacal.