Laika, the Russian dog that made history as the first animal in space, took her famous 10-day flight aboard the Sputnik II in 1958. These are the entries from her lost logbook:
Day One: Space is in black and white just like Earth. Nuts! Ate all the treats and all the dog food, even the borscht-flavored dry stuff (yuck). Must find other source of nourishment.
Day Two: Ate own feces. Not bad.
Day Three: Left scent around the compartment. Satellites don't hold the smell well. Had to redo one corner three times.
Day Four: Tried to lick myself, but the helmet kept getting in the way. Removed the helmet, lost oxygen and started hallucinating sexy space dogs. Licked sexy space dogs.
Day Five: Sadly, the absence of gravity has not allowed me to finally catch my tail. Wasted three hours chasing the dang thing before crashing into the control panels. May have launched missile at France.
Day Six: Tried to play fetch but the stick never moved. It just sat there. Darned zero gravity ....
Day Seven: Fleas are driving me crazy! Can't scratch myself because of the stupid "Russia Rules!" novelty sweater I have to wear.
Day Eight: Going through heat. Saw sexy space dogs again. Had to resist their tempting loins. Everyone can see me -- I must not embarrass myself on national TV.
Day Nine: Fighting boredom is the biggest problem. All interest in the squeeze toys is gone. Except for the tube-shaped one that reads "hamburger by-products." That one still cracks me up.
Day 10: Last day of the journey, yet the craft is still heading away from Earth. Very peculiar. Oh well, what do I care? My owners will be coming back for me any minute now. Yep, any minute now.