T'sara Vandercross (tsara) wrote,
T'sara Vandercross

Need a one liner?

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

I had amnesia once-or twice.

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.

Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.

What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

How can there be self-help "groups"?

Is there another word for synonym?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

What's another word for thesaurus?

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

If you can lead it to water and force it to drink, it isn't a horse.

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

If I say the word "sooth", does that make me a sooth-sayer?

An apology is a good way to have the last word.

Definition: OBSOLETE: Any computer you own.

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

If history repeats itself, I think we can expect the same thing all over again.

A proverb is a short sentence based upon long experience.
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