July 24th, 2002

Distracted Bunny

Interesting...

In my poll, it would seem most men woudln't change women because they are to lazy to.

Whereas most women would change men....

This has to say something about society.....I'm just to tired to figure it out...

Man I wish I could get to sleep.
Distracted Bunny

GenCon

Looks like Tickets are taken care of. I need to see if someone can be kind enough to take me to SeaTac at 4 in the morning though. Flight leaves at 6:30am....
Distracted Bunny

Job Search

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned.
I couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't
hack it, so they gave me the ax.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it
--mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too
exhausting.

Then I tried to be a chef, figured it would add a little spice to
my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I
couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't
noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any
patience.

Next was a job in a shoe factory;
I tried but I just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman,
but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company,
but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit
for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job
as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working at coffee house, but I had to quit because
it was always the same old grind.

SO, I RETIRED, AND I FOUND I AM PERFECT FOR THE JOB!
Distracted Bunny

Growing Old...

A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art."

"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"

"Twelve thirty."

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Morris, an 82 year-old man went to the Doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. A couple of days later the doctor spoke to the man and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"

Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doctor: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"

The Doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful."

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As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"


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An elderly gent was invited to his old friends' home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms-- Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.

While the wife was in the kitchen,the man leaned over and said to his host, "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife
those loving pet names."

The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth," he said, "I forgot her name about 10 years ago."