T'sara Vandercross (tsara) wrote,
T'sara Vandercross
tsara

I, The Penis

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for
the following reasons:
I do physical labour
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the
arguments you have raised, the administration rejects
your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
You do not always follow the orders of the management
team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often
visit other areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured
and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of
your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations,
such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You'll retire well before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you
have completed the day's work
And if that were not all, you have been seen
constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying
2 suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management
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